Idea 2: A masked carnival in London

A few years ago, I visited Cologne as a guest of the German tourist industry, which was trying to persuade a hand-picked group of British people that their country is a great place to visit. I was convinced, but unsure exactly what they wanted me to do about it.

One thing I did almost do about it was nick one of their best ideas and try and transpose it to London.

Each year, as part of its fantastic carnival season, Cologne stages a vast masked ball in its streets, attracting thousands of revellers from around the world, who mix and party, hidden behind their costumes. I was overcome by the bacchanalian ideal and resolved to bring it to the UK.

The plan was to quit my job and start an event company, staging a vast masked ball in a venue that combined glamour with a hint of sleaze - somewhere like Smithfield or Leadenhall Market. At the weekend, while the Square Mile sleeps, thousands of revellers could descend to party anonymously.

It soon dawned on me that I lack the flamboyance (or friends) to pull this kind of thing off and let it go - but should someone revive the dream?

The idea

• A ticketed event for a summer evening with live music, cabaret, dancing and costumes
• Moulin Rouge meets the Notting Hill Carnival
• An event for the masses (albeit a fairly self-selecting crowd) - not the Piers Gaveston Society

Why might it be a good idea?

• London's marketing gurus are already looking to bring new events to the capital
• There's a ready-made cabaret circuit, that would fall over itself to be part of it
• It could be sponsored by a "premium" drinks brand (or maybe absinthe) keen to hitch its wagon to a decadent event
• High-camp is one of the UK's leading exports

Why might it be a bad idea?

• CCTV-loving London authorities might have an issue with it
• Done badly, it could end up being more "bonfire night" than Mardi Gras - all paper cups, windswept revellers and fried onions

Idea 1: A UK sovereign investment fund

Sovereign investment funds are very fashionable at the moment. When they're not bailing out Citigroup, they're funding London skyscrapers or investing in renewable energy solutions.

Despite their role in propping up the international financial system in recent months, they inspire a fair amount of paranoia. Are they pursuing a hidden agenda? How will they distort the markets?

They're able to swoop on assets during bear markets, invest in the long-term and support countries' long-term strategic objectives.

But why do funds like these have to be the playthings of oil states? Why can't we have a go? We do, after all, have a sovereign. It will give her something to do.

The idea

• Scrabble around for £1 billon of loose change in the Exchequer. Not a lot of money, but enough to make some meaningful investments
• Appoint a fund manager - the PR value for a project like this should help secure discount rates from one financial institution or another, who wants to manage it for the UK people
• Make the Queen the lead trustee
• Set some broad objectives - (eg: some money to support regional regeneration projects, some to support UK university spin offs, etc)
• Let the fund managers run it according to those objectives
• Create an endowment for the UK taxpayer - some money going back in to the fund, the rest as a dividend to the Treasury

Why might it be a good idea?

• Make some money, support some good causes, but independently run, like the Bank of England's interest rate, so as to avoid investments going to marginal constituencies, etc
• Encourage the British public to build a greater understanding of economic issues
• Call it "the people's investment fund" if you like. Turn the annual report in to a TV special, with live phone votes asking people which of the "good causes" recommended by the fund managers should be supported
• Tack the financial reporting on to the "Queen's speech" - liven up an otherwise dull few minutes with her cursing the fact that she should have got out of pumpkin futures before Halloween

Why might it be a bad idea?

• The value of invesments can go down as well as up
• Ant and Dec could end up the unwitting subjects of millions of pounds of investment when the phone votes go wrong

Vote result

Good idea: 81%

Bad idea: 19%